After the "Uh-Oh"!

Tim and I are in a parenting class at church that gives advice on how to handle discipline issues with children in a way that maintains the dignity of both the child and parent. A few weeks ago the book we are reading introduced the “Uh-Oh” song, to be sung merrily after a child has entered into discipline territory and needs to have some redirection. I haven’t quite caught on to the practice yet. But I have been pondering “Uh-Oh” moments that we somehow slip into that are very real and very much in need of redirection.

I’m not talking about childhood misadventures in mischievousness. I’m talking about those moments when we realize that our lives have ventured down a path that we never intended, and we have arrived in a place that is ugly, desperate, and hopeless. Perhaps it is the moment you realize the unplanned pregnancy is real. Or the moment that you know a whole semester has bombed. Or the moment when you sense that this partying thing is no longer a party. Or the moment you understand why the car is totaled and the insurance isn’t paying. Or the moment when you comprehend the fact that you will no longer be let off with “just a warning.” Whatever it is, it’s the moment when you say to yourself, “Wow, I screwed up.”

There are two key components to this experience. Both involve radical self-awareness. I’m not talking about those times when someone else looks into your life and tells you, “Man, you really blew it!” They may or may not be right. And often, even if they are right, we are so defensive their message never penetrates. Instead, this is a moment of clarity, when the fog clears and we come to our senses. When we have the grace to understand that our lives are in desperate need of help and we cannot generate that help on our own. I am talking about that specific experience of knowing the unvarnished truth of where we are in life and also owning the part we played in getting there. Knowing and owning. It’s really the moment when we can look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “I get it now.”

Often in that moment of realization we feel such a keen sense of shame, regret, and hopelessness. We despair of ever getting back to that place of innocent trust, that place of before. Yet imbedded in the heartache of painful realization there is hope. And this moment can, if we allow it, lead us to a place that is better than before because it will grounded in a deep knowing of what we are capable of and an understanding of how our choices always bear fruit. This moment of despairing in ourselves can lead us to a place where we learn to lean wholly on God’s grace and less upon our own self-sufficiency. It really can be good.

So how does God see our moment of moral failure? It’s odd. I grew up with a keen sense of fearing God’s judgement. I could not admit to myself mistakes because I was so afraid of facing God’s rejection. But what I have learned is that it never surprises God when we fail. He is not waiting at the door of our relationship with Him, waiting to pounce on us with “I told you so’s” and “you should have known better’s.” He is waiting for just that moment of knowing and owning, that moment when it ceases to surprise us that we fail. Because that is the moment when we can most acknowledge our need of Him and we are most open to receiving it. It is that moment when we are so fully convinced of our own way’s folly that we are willing to try a new way, a different way. We are willing to do things His way because we know that our way leads to no way. And that is just the moment when His grace rushes in, cleans us up, and sets us on a new path.

It may surprise you that even after royally screwing up we can still be considered righteous. This is because we rarely understand the nature of true righteousness. True righteousness (or lack thereof) has less to do with what we do and everything to do with Who (or who) we trust. When we trust God we receive His righteousness. When we trust Him (believe Him) to forgive us, to cover our sin, to accept us back into His care, to lead us to a good place, that is when we have the beginnings of righteousness. And when we trust Him enough to actually begin to follow Him where He leads, that is when His righteousness takes root in our lives and begins to flourish. That is when His righteousness becomes something others can see. Not because we are trusting in our own good deeds (which is no righteousness at all), but because they can see we love Him, and are looking at Him, and are following after Him. Here is what scripture has to say about it: “Now to one who works, wages are not reckoned as a gift but as something due. But to one who without works trusts him who justifies the ungodly, such faith is reckoned as righteousness” (Romans 4:4-5).

So what do we do now? Just this: believe that God loves you and wants to help you. He gets that you blew it. And mercy of mercies, you do too. He isn’t going to dwell on that. He wants to move you to a better place. So let Him. Seek Him. Follow after Him. Let the grief you feel over your past mistakes be the place that you seek to fill with coming to know and understand His plan for your life that is radically different from your own. In Revelation the apostle John offers this excellent wisdom to the church at Ephesus about getting back to that sweet spot of communion with the Lord: “Remember then from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first” (Revelation 2:5). Quite literally he is simply saying turn yourself away from where you were going and turn toward the Lord and His path for you.

I want to close by sharing words of scripture for you. I invite you to write them down in your own handwriting, tape it to your wall or door. Put these words in a place where you will see them often and where you can ponder what they mean for you in your life. Listen to what God’s Spirit is saying to you:

Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as the heat of summer. Selah

Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah

Therefore let al who are faithful offer prayer to you; at the time of distress, the rush of mighty waters shall not reach them. You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with glad cries of deliverance. Selah

I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you.

Many are the torments of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord. Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart. (Psalm 32)

So dear ones, know that the Lord loves you. His mercy and goodness are so for you. Everyday He stands waiting and ready to pick you up, dust you off, and put you back on the right path again. But it is impossible to experience that blessedness without first knowing and owning. So my prayer for each of us is that we would have the courage to know and own what we need to, so that we can receive what we need from Him.

This is me trusting,

Sami

The Shape of Things

It’s been a long few months. This season of Winter has seemed to seep deeply into everything. It’s like the cold, the snow, the aggravation of inconvenience caused by closings and bad roads have all conspired to slow us down, send us inside, give us ample opportunity for reflection. Everything stops and the dust settles. And we are able to see in the quiet discomfiture exactly how things really are.

I will never forget the day early in my ministry when I was sharing my heart with a pastor friend, just pleading that after so much struggle in my life I just wanted to be happy. He replied that God doesn’t want us to be happy but rather holy. I must say I did not feel the warm fuzzy consolation that so often accompanies the spiritual gifts of compassion and encouragement. Instead I felt deflated and misunderstood. However, his words have stayed with me. And often I also recall the wisdom shared by someone else that often people who feel holy are really just happy. The point is that once a person’s happiness is removed holiness (or lack thereof) is quickly revealed. Winter also I believe is a revealer of these kinds of things. Because we can’t quite get comfortable, the stuff of our character has ample opportunity to show up. Winter reveals the shape of things.

I love this especially as it relates to trees. Early in my life I bemoaned Winter as a desolate and ugly time of year. I was all for foliage, beautiful buds announcing the newness of Spring and the lush, rich depth of Summer leaves shading the heat, singing in the breeze. Even Autumn held a special gift of igniting the landscape with fire. Each of these seasons spun beauty in my eyes. But I believed Winter held no beauty, simply because the trees became so bare, naked and empty of visible life. I only believed the obvious could be beautiful. But in my later years, God has been showing me the deep promise and extraordinary gift of Winter time, especially as it relates to trees.

Trees need Winter after all. The most important growth happens then. This is the season when the roots grow deep, penetrating earth to reach the water and nutrients needed to bring growth and new life. It is also the only time of year that we get a glimpse of the bones of the trees we admire all year long. We see their strength in the thickness of the trunks, the reach of the spindly branches and twigs stretching to heaven, the tenaciousness of new growth that resumes even when branches have been cut off, the provision of hospitality to birds who build their nests and raise their young nestled snuggly in their arms. How sweetly Winter reveals the shape of things.

In our lives with God, we too pass through seasons. How we long for the excitement of Spring, the lush provision of Summer, the glory and bounty of Autumn harvest. Yet it is in Winter time that we send our roots deep into God’s presence, and when everything else falls away, our hopes and dreams, comfort and status. It is here that God shows us where we really are and what we are really made of. I treasure this time for its quiet gifts. And because I am an encourager, I don’t see it as a bad thing. Instead I see it as God’s grace, revealing qualities to us that we never knew we had. He takes the time to show us to ourselves, and the vision is really quite beautiful. We get to see our strength, sustaining ourselves and those in our care from years of trials and trusting Him. We get to see how hungry we are for His grace and glory as we reach towards heaven. We get to see how God’s mercy has allowed new life in those places where circumstances caused an amputation that we thought we could never recover from. We even see the ways that God has entrusted others into our care and how they are safely perched within our love, caring and tending to the life God has given them. How sweetly even our spiritual Winter reveals the shape of things to us and for us.

My dear friends, do not be discouraged. You are a God-song resounding with beauty that only He can give. But sometimes we confuse the world’s song with our own God-song welling up from within. And for this reason God allows the Winter seasons of the soul to draw us deeply into Him and to show us exactly how beautiful we really are. The world cannot sing in Winter; it’s why everything seems to come to a halt and the outer trappings of life come to a standstill. But our beauty has nothing to do with outer things; it has everything to do with that God beauty within. The same beauty we forget and hide in the regular ordinariness of our lives because the world does not understand it and often does not value it. This beauty is the very thing that makes you Holy, and it is the Holiness about you that is revealed when happiness falls away and you realize you are, and cannot be anything but, His.

So here I am with you dear one, in Winter time. Like you I am stretching my hands up and high, reaching for all I’m worth toward heaven. And like you I’m digging deeper, trying to get to that deep, hidden well of God’s living water that will spring forth and quench my thirst. And like you I’m walking by faith, knowing that this life is beautiful, because ultimately this life belongs to Him.

This is me trusting Him,

Sami

Singing Rocks

The headline reads “Opera Company of Philadelphia Rallies Over 650 Singers To Surprise Macy’s Shoppers With A Random Act of Culture.” (See www.operaphila.org/RAC) Apparently it is a regular occurrence to hear an organ play classical music at the Macy’s in Philadelphia. In the middle on one such regular occurrence the organ launched into the opening score of Handel’s Messiah and suddenly hundreds of voices burst into song with a loud “Hallelujah.” Each singer had gathered within Macy’s pretending to get a head start on their Holiday purchases. But soon they became heralds of good tidings to unsuspecting bystanders.

As I watched the video I wept. For all their randomness they had not chosen a random song at all. The lyrics to the Hallelujah Chorus are the most sublime and glorious words of praise that can be uttered. There’s no holding back and no room to mistake exactly Who is being lifted up:

“Hallelujah: for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. The kingdom of this world has become the kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ; and He shall reign forever and ever. King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. Hallelujah!”

It reminded me of the scene when Jesus makes His triumphal entry into Jerusalem: “The whole multitude of the disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the deeds of power that they had seen, saying, ‘Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven, and glory in the highest heaven!’ Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, ‘Teacher, order your disciples to stop.’ He answered, ‘I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out’” (Luke 19:37-40). As I watched the joyful singers interspersed throughout the crowd of shoppers I felt like rocks were singing.

I am so encouraged by the imaginative delight of our Lord who finds creative outlets to display His glory. I can see Jesus elbowing Peter and with a grin saying, “Watch this; I’m about to bless Macy’s socks off!” So what if it is called a “random display of culture.” Hundreds of voices joined in a heavenly chorus while standing smack dab in the middle of a shopping mall, the real estate most dedicated to American greed and idolatry in our culture. Most moving to me was the woman who had her hands raised and face uplifted as she sang along. People were lifting babies over their heads, smiling and hugging one another, and of course pulling out pocket camcorders to take the holy moment home. It was incredibly beautiful. As the song came to a close the whole place erupted into glorious applause. I stood there in my kitchen watching in wonder, tears streaming down my face, my sweet baby in my arms. And as we watched the clapping my sweet baby began to clap along.

I have reflected much over this eruption of God’s glory in the middle of the ordinary. I have come to the conclusion that God has His own mysterious ways of displaying His glory and righteousness to our world. Because it is mystery, we cannot command it. We can only live as receptive vessels, willing to be filled with it and poured out for it.

As I close I want to share the most brilliant outpouring of God’s glory I have ever seen, the most riveting demonstration of human willingness I have ever witnessed. A precious couple I know has experienced an unimaginable loss recently. My heart has been broken for them, I weep for them often, I send up prayers for them daily. The thing is, in the midst of something so unspeakably awful, I see Jesus. Because they are reflecting Him. They continue to love Him, serve Him, and seek through their tragedy to bring a message of His love and hope to those around them. And not because they see themselves as strong, but because they see themselves as His. I am so humbled by their honest and raw desire to simply be His, even when the world as they once knew it has fallen apart. Every time I see them I come away loving Him more.

That is what revealing God’s glory is all about. When we witness it, we come away loving Him more. And finally I have found the thing I have been trying to say all along. The most important thing we will ever do with our lives is inspire someone else to want to know Him and love Him. By grace made perfect in our weakness. By random acts of culture. By unguarded and unreserved willingness to be His.

This is me trusting,

Sami

If I had a hammer

I think it would be kind of cool to randomly categorize the desk contents of campus ministers and compare them to the stuff in other folks’ desks. In my desk I have a small chocolate stash, some giant pixy stix, and a hammer, among other things. The chocolate is there to remind me that good does exist in the world and sometimes comes in small packages; the pixy stix are there for the ruthless pleasure of threatening my students with an unbridled Sami sugar high; and the hammer is there, well, because it has a soft place in my heart. Oh, and because occasionally I need to bang out a new hole in my office wall.

I love my hammer. It reminds me of Joe who raised me. He gave it to me in a simple olive green tool box with some other odds and ends tools when I moved away to college. It is a tangible reminder of the truth that some things worth accomplishing in life have to be hammered away at with great diligence and patience. This is what Joe taught me by his example, and through sharing his deeply spiritual wisdom. Consider my favorite Joe saying: “Spit in one hand and wish in the other; see which one fills up the fastest.” Love it! I remember having a pleading bout with him when I was about 10 years old. We had visited family and one of my cousins had moon wallpaper. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. Standing in the middle of that room it was easy to feel like Lance Armstrong and Buzz Aldridge admiring the lunar horizon for the first time. I told Joe I wanted a “neat” room like that. He simply said when I could keep my room neat I could have a neat room. I totally thought he had misunderstood what I was saying, so I repeated my longing. Again he gave me the same reply. We continued until I gave up in frustration. What I was missing was the understanding that sometimes the only way to get what you want is to do the work you don’t want. Sometimes the road to satisfaction is paved only by the sweat of the brow.

Although I didn’t appreciate it at the time, I’m so thankful for Joe’s down to earth insight. In the years since it has served me well. Hard work and perseverance pay off. Yet in our society this notion is counter-intuitive. Our culture is so driven by instant gratification that often, when we cannot immediately fulfill our desires, we give up and look for new pursuits of pleasure. It takes great restraint and self-determination to live into a life-choice of commitment. And I purposefully say life-choice. We never accidentally persevere. It takes a great exercise of will to simply keep showing up and giving one’s best effort in a persistent direction when pleasure is deferred. Yet what treasures are garnered for those who choose this road less traveled.

I believe this is what Jesus was talking about when He said, “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14). Let’s face it: People are lazy. Just sayin’. If we can go through life by avoiding discomfort, we usually do. We generally want to feel good all the time, and only do the things that we like doing. Yet this path ultimately leads to all kinds of disappointment. Our destinations can only be as great as the journey we invest in. Even more disturbing, unrestrained gluttony can lead to addiction, destruction, and pain that we never intended and never once desired. However, perseverance leads to some really great stuff!

This is because I truly believe that God honors our perseverance in doing the right thing, in doing the hard thing when all be want to do is give up. When we are willing to give Him our best by not quitting, I believe He gives us His best by doing what only He can do: blessing and multiplying our efforts. Is it hard? Yes. Will you want to give up? Absolutely. But is it worth it to hang in there? You bet! We are so familiar with Jeremiah 29:11 that says, “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” Yet listen to the tender promises He gives to those who will pursue His best even when it demands something from them: “Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes” (Jeremiah 29:12-14).

When I was in youth group we had some old hippie youth leaders that would often sing this song: “If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning; I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land. I’d hammer out danger; I’d hammer out a warning. I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters, all over this land.” I think of it fondly now as I look at my worn hammer, laying in my campus ministry desk, remembering all the ways that Joe persistently and consistently taught me how to be a person of character, remembering too all the ways we have been hammering out God’s love together on campus. This is what I am doing with my hammer, my work of perseverance, trusting that the One who entrusted me with a tool for building has wonderful plans for His project’s completion. If you had a hammer, what would you build? Can you trust Him to have wonderful building plans for your life too?

This is me trusting,

Sami

Be a Joshua Generation!

On Monday we decorated my mommy van with some random pumpkins and headed out to South Lawn to share some chocolate joy. This is so my favorite thing to do this time of year. I love giving away candy to students, especially candy with a message so many need to hear. Each piece of chocolate is given away with this scripture stuck on top: “Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). This admonition to be strong and courageous is given three times in this chapter. Kind of seems like it is important.

The context of the story is that Moses has died. And God has chosen Joshua to be the one who will lead the Israelites into the promised land. This honor did not go to Moses, the one who spoke to God face to face as a friend. It went to the young guy. The apprentice. The one with no job experience. He is probably scared witless. And so the command from God Himself comes, “Be strong and courageous!” Notice it is not a request. Notice it is not a feel-good, warm fuzzy pick me. It is an admonition that shakes the earth: “Hey! You there looking around as if I’m talking to somebody else! You, be strong and courageous!” I love it!

Once again God chooses the least likely candidate to reveal His glory. I believe that young people today are the Joshua generation. I have never seen a population so intent on living the difference they most want to see made. It excites me; it humbles me. One of our students donated from their own funds to help us give away fair trade chocolate on Monday because this person very much believes in not just speaking about justice, but being a part of God’s justice. I am so proud, so thankful I get to be pastor to this individual.

I believe that the bigness of the command comes for two reasons. First, I believe it is so easy for young people to doubt their own worth, or their place in God’s plans. Let’s face it; our culture has told people to do what they want without regard for others. Often times it is the children who suffer. And as these children become young adults, they grow up with a belief that they are expendable, that their lives don’t really matter. The other reason is that never before has there been as much pressure to perform as now. Often students feel like the rest of their lives hinges on how well they perform now. They believe they don’t have time for the luxury of being still and quiet, learning to sense God’s presence with them in the noise, living as if the most important thing they can do with their time is pray and draw close to Jesus. In short, this generation has a target on its forehead.

I say that because our enemy knows what is at stake. And so does God. It is a generation that will give themselves with abandon to what they believe in. And so the spiritual battle is on to win the heart of a generation that loves, serves, and lives with everything they got. Let me just say this. God knows you have it in you to overcome every obstacle you will ever encounter. He know that with the Holy Spirit within you, you will be more than a conqueror. It thrills me to think of the promises that are just waiting to be realized because you, my Joshua generation, have decided to be strong and courageous. When you decide that going with God’s presence is the best way to change the world, the whole earth quakes. My dear ones, lets be partners with God in shaking things up a bit, shall we? So be strong and courageous; know that GOD IS WITH YOU. And wherever you go with God, the earth trembles.

This is me trusting,

Sami

This Little Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let It SHINE!

Two days before my second son was born I was blessed to hear Maya Angelou speak. Her visit to Bowling Green was brief and the opportunity to be a part of her public appearance was very limited. My dear friend who worked for student activities at the time arranged for several students from Wesley and myself to have tickets to her speaking engagement. The venue was a very packed Capital Arts theater. As we sat there among the other 300 something attendees, we were moved by her simple message, so eloquently delivered: “Let your light shine.” Simple but powerful. Let your light shine.

That was almost four years ago. Today I am still a campus minister at the same campus ministry. Those young and impressionable students however have since found their way into the world. It’s so cool to see how they each are living that message out in their own way. Just this past weekend I saw one of them at the Unity Fair held at the Foundry on Saturday. He now has a full-time job working as a community organizer, everyday living his passion to see justice come to life for the under-resourced and disadvantaged in our culture. It was so cool just to see that.

I know how pervasive and entrenched discouragement can be. So many times it seems like we cannot change anything, so we don’t try or we give up because we don’t see the results we want. The biggest temptation that most of us face each day is not about blatant sinning, but more in the area of directing our focus. We are tempted everyday to focus on how big the problems are, whether they are in our personal lives, our families, communities, or even the world. Our focus then magnifies the difficulty until it seems impossible, hopeless, and overwhelming. The tactic here is to keep our vision sequestered by an illusion of futility. That way the enemy doesn’t have to ever worry about whether we will ever step out for God because we have been cut down in our belief that we are even capable of making a difference at all. I believe this is the spiritual battleground where God’s initiatives are often shot down. We believe that those big problems can only be conquered through big power! And we simply feel like we don’t measure up. What’s more, because we believe we are incapable of making a difference, we make our minds up that solutions cannot exist. Sadly, God’s answers to these problems often are never discovered simply because they never even had the opportunity to even be considered!

But consider this. Often the way God works to change things is through the simple and small act of obedience, lived out faithfully over time. The song “This Little Light of Mine” is about a “little” light. Not a flood lamp. Not even a flash light. Simply a candle. Something simple and small which cuts the darkness just by being what it was meant to be. It makes a difference by lighting its wick. Giving a speech on Human Rights Day, December 10th, 1961, Peter Beneson said, “It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.” He had been living his life as a lawyer in Great Britain when he learned of two Portuguese students who were imprisoned for simply raising their wine glasses in a toast to freedom. Beneson was moved deeply and began a campaign to gain their freedom. It is through his efforts that Amnesty International was born, a movement dedicated to preserving human rights. It’s also like the story of the man who was discovered by a young boy on the beach throwing starfish back into the ocean. The boy commented that this gentleman couldn’t possible make a difference on a beach littered with hundreds of starfish. But very deliberately the old man continued. As he picked up the next starfish and threw it back into the sea, he simply said, “Made a difference for that one!”

What is your simple, small act of obedience? I used to think that God wanted me to change the world by finding the most dynamic examples of ministry out there and becoming like them. Now I know that God only expects me to be who He made me to be, and to apply that being towards those things that move me deeply. I’m not a British lawyer, but I am a prayer warrior. I’m not a charismatic leader, but I am a funny, down to earth teacher. I’m not an administrative genius, but I am a walking heart beat that welcomes everyone in. I am quirky, weird, a bit disheveled, kind of outrageous, very un-hip, quite excitable, and somewhat enthusiastic. In all of that messy vibrancy I have experienced a quiet invitation from God’s heart to leverage what I am (NOT what I’m not) towards those things that stir me deeply. He asks me to consider what I can do, NOT what can’t be done. And here is the best part of all: When we stop focusing on what is impossible for us to (God’s part anyway), and begin to live into that simple, small act of obedience that we can do, then we have allowed room for the Bigness of God to step in and do His thing after all! Kind of like the little boy who steps up to share his sack lunch; Jesus turns it into a feast that feeds a crowd.

So STOP fixating on what cannot be done. Begin to listen for that still, small Voice (God’s Voice) that speaks within your heart. Learn to focus on the light already shining around you. Learn from those who seem to know how to live in light. Consider the light that you are, not the one you wish you could be. And in the listening and considering begin to focus on the simple, small act of obedience that God is sparking within you. Light that candle. Let that light shine. And prepare to be amazed at how small the darkness becomes.

This is me trusting,

Sami

Why are you here?

I must admit that since I have been back from Fall Break, several of you have really been on my heart and mind. Each one of you truly has a special place in my life. It is so cool and kind of amazing that after 8 plus years in this ministry, the things you go through as students still move me deeply. I count it as a God thing. I believe it is why I am where I am. God crafted my heart so that college students could find His grace there. It is a mystery that staggers me and leaves me deeply humbled. After all this time, I know why I am here. He put me here to love on you.

But I want you to ponder a more important question, especially those of you who are really wrestling and struggling right now: Why are YOU here? Really, why? You may be so distracted by the whirlwinds surrounding you and swirling within you that you may not have ever even considered the question. But consider this: Lauren, one of our leaders at Wesley very astutely says that nobody comes here by accident. She is so right. I kind of feel that campus ministries are kind of like planets. The big ones seem to have a gravitational pull that draws others in. However when you land on our planet it is precisely because you were guided here by Something bigger than yourself for a very specific purpose. You are not here by chance. God is doing something in you here that has eternal significance for your life and quite probably for lives you have yet to encounter. Now that is staggering.

I say this because the temptation is to believe that you are only what the university says you are, a random 800 number amongst 20,000 other students. You are definitely not just a random number. Or you could be tempted to believe what biology would tell you, that you are a random conglomeration of rapidly expanding cells that differentiated into various limbs and organs. You are not a random grouping of cells. Or you could be tempted to believe what philosophy would tell you, that you are a random being with an existential presence vacillating between meaningless extremes and circumstances of which you have no control. Your life is not a random happening in a meaningless universe. Here is the truth: You are precious, created with intention and delight, for a purpose that extends meaning and influence far beyond what you can comprehend. You are a person of sacred worth. And right this very minute God is working a purpose for you that is full of eternal significance, one that is full of His glory and profound in its impact.

But you have a choice. How you decide to view your life and circumstances very profoundly influences your experience of them and your response to them. As Tyler, another one of our leaders at Wesley, rightly points out, it’s all about the attitude. You can choose to believe the lie, that you are here by chance and your live has no worth or value. Or you can be courageous and live into the truth that our enemy does not want you to believe: That you are a child of worth, created in and sustained in love, specifically for a purpose that has eternal significance and meaning. I don’t take the admonition lightly. I know what it will cost some of you to live into it, to live as if it is true because you can’t yet believe it is true. I know what I’m asking is huge, but I also know the One who prompted me to ask it. I know He believes in you and wants you to experience His power in your life like you never have before. Here is the truth: He will do the powerful transforming thing; you just have to accept His invitation. Be strong and courageous dear ones. I will accept that invitation with you.

This is me trusting,

Sami

What to do when the A.F.R. has hit the fan

Today is the Monday before Fall Break begins on Thursday. And as is the case on most college campuses before break, all the professors got together and decided that the most delicious form of torture for college students would be to coordinate syllabi so that all the exams, all the projects, all the papers, all of the big-ticket assignments would come due at the same time. And of course every professor or instructor treats his or her assignment as the most important, expecting you the student to do the same. Even if you are only enrolled in basket-weaving 101, that instructor’s attitude toward that class is that it is the most vital to your entire educational career, even if you should go on to pursue a PH. D. in aero-dynamics. It’s just the culture of academia.

Returning students have learned to greet the days before Fall Break with the grim resignation to hunker down, bury themselves in the library or dorm room, and grind through each intellectual obligation until all are completed. Freshmen are more like deer caught in headlights. For a few brief moments they hyperventilate, and then, after chatting with friends, parents, and pastors, discover that the devastation can be survived. Then they too, hunker down. If you are a college student reading this, you didn’t need me to tell you that the A.F.R. (I learned this term on TV last night when a resort worker was explaining what happens when a kid poops in the pool—it’s called “accidental fecal release.” Cool huh?) has hit the fan. You are living it.

And as I was pondering A. F. R. this morning during my run, I began to wonder as my breath formed a foggy mist in front of my face if toots (passing gas, farts, tooties, whatever) would also form a lovely foggy mist in the cold air. Can you tell I hang around college students? I share this for two reasons: First I think it is hilarious! Second, when we are going through tough times we need help to get through, to persevere, to survive. Humor has always done it for me. I often tell my students that in the body of Christ I am the funny bone. My bizarre thought process on how we survive the tough times is actually related to Philippians 4:11-13, a familiar scripture that I have been pondering for the last several days:

For I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

There is a Veggie-Tales video that explores this verse. Larry the cucumber asks Bob the tomato if it means that through Christ he can be a chicken, because he always wanted to be a chicken. Well, no. It doesn’t mean that. Usually we take it to mean that we can do anything for God through the strength of Jesus Christ. And yes, that is true. We can do anything God asks us to do relying on His strength. But we usually look at this text through the lens of the American Dream, meaning that if we don’t like the situation we are in, with God’s help and our own will-power we should be able to fix it. We kinda are the “fix-it” nation. We hate to be uncomfortable, and we avoid pain at all costs. However, this is not the way of the Gospel, certainly not the way of Jesus who did not run away from the cross but chose it because he loves us and knew there could be no resurrection, ultimate defeat of sin, death, and evil, without it.

At the heart of the Gospel is the good news that Jesus transforms the bad into the good. Not by running away, but by enduring, and pushing through. Somehow the power of Jesus infused into our lives gives us the ability to do the same, to persevere and push through. And through His grace, our worst experiences can be transformed through the power of His love and resurrection into something of eternal beauty. Don’t ask me how He does it; I just know that he does. And He does it not by removing us from the difficulty but by strengthening us within the difficulty. Now don’t get me wrong; I do believe in miracles and deliverance. But I also know that God doesn’t choose to answer every difficulty we encounter in this way. What He does give us every time is the strength to be okay in the midst of A.R.F.’s and quickly whirling objects (i.e. fans). The good news is that no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, God is able to sustain us while we are in them. He helps us get through them. He makes us able to praise Him on the other side. So thankful. Honestly I’d rather have the American Dream, but I’m so thankful I have His grace instead. He’s gotten me through a lot.

And so my dear ones, do not be discouraged. In a matter of days Fall Break will be here, and you will be able to rest from your basket weaving 101 adventures. Just know that the God who loves you is with you, to strengthen you and to bring good out of you and through you. And in His grace you will see your toughest trial transformed into something of eternal beauty for His glory.

This is me trusting,

Sami

Loosey Goosey Religion

I get how crazy life is. On Sunday the pastor at the church I attend was commenting on someone he met who just wasn’t into “organized religion.” His reply to the person was, “That’s okay because our church is disorganized religion.” My thought was, “he just thinks he’s seen disorganized religion. He hasn’t been to the Wesley Foundation yet.” Anyone who has been a part of our ministry at all knows just how unorganized we can get. There is some sense of organization there; it’s just all loosey-goosey. And God has been showing me that this is okay.

There is so much pressure during this segment of life to be regimented, to have a life plan, to know where you are headed with finely crafted steps lined out for getting there. And I must admit, living with intentionality is a powerful thing during the young adult years. I mean, you have within you the capacity to set the trajectory for what will follow. Being intentional is a good thing. During my university experience class as we talked of time-management I encouraged my students to harness the power of intention. I asked each of them to make a list of what is most important in their lives. Then I asked them to consider how they spend their time in any given week. My next question was to examine how much the way they spent their time reflected the important things in their lives. If there was a discrepancy, I challenged them to make changes that would incorporate their life values into their actual living.

And because I don’t think it is fair to ask my students to do something I am unwilling to do myself, I have been pondering my own ability to harness the power of intention. In fact I spent quite a bit of time wrestling with this question of my own intentions. To be honest, the experience left me unsatisfied, feeling like I was trying to fill a bottomless pit. However, in the middle of my ponderings grace gave me a different perspective. The new question that came to my spirit was this: “What are Your intentions, Lord?” This is not the same thing as, “What is Your will for my life?” Trying to find God’s will has been an integral part of my life for a long time. Rather this comes from the assumption that the things we are intentional about yield something later on. For instance, if I harness the power of intention to study hard, I will yield good grades. If I harness the power of intention to spend time with the people I love on a regular basis, the yield is better relationships. It is another way of saying that we reap what we sow (also something the pastor talked about on Sunday.) My question of God was thus one of asking what had He been sowing in me that were now yielding fruit. Also, what is He sowing now that would yield fruit later? And finally is the big one, what does all this fruit look like anyway?

When I only focus on what I can intentionally plant and harvest in my own strength, I suddenly become very tired, a bit agitated, and eventually overwhelmed. Yet when the question shifts, and I begin to sense that God has been intentional in planting things in my life all along, well, my footing becomes solid again. Often I look at a past season of life and think, “Dude! I was just trying to survive!” But when I think of that season in light of God’s intentions, or rather His intentional occupation in my circumstances, I can see that He produced something worthwhile in me the whole time I thought I was just barely holding on.

Here’s the thing of God’s grace: He intentionally shows up in the chaos of our lives and weaves His goodness into it, if we will simply let Him in and go with what He gives us. We may not understand it. We may be overwhelmed by it. We may not have any sense that it will resolve itself in any recognizable way. But the promise of Grace is that surer Hands are holding us than we ourselves have. I love that about our intentional, loving God who specifically chooses those things that confound us to show us Himself the most. So dear one, rest in His goodness, knowing that you are not responsible for ordering the universe. Indeed the One who brought forth the universe in all its glory from chaos is able or order yours. Be blessed.

This is me trusting,

Sami

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run in Butler County’s Project Prom 5K race. Well at least I did, on Saturday. My strategy was simple: just keep running. I could run any speed I wanted, I just couldn’t stop. I knew if I ever stopped it would be so hard to regain my momentum. And the temptation to stop is so appealing when it is hot and hilly. But I didn’t stop; I finished the race (in honor of all 38 year old women with three children, the youngest of whom is 9 mos). So incredibly glad I did.

Mostly because I am metaphor girl. I can relate anything to anything, and running really seems to relate to the life of faith. What I love about both disciplines (running and following Jesus) is that the equipment is light. To be in shape, all you need is a good pair of running shoes. You don’t need fancy equipment. You don’t need to join an expensive club. You just have to step outside. As Nike says, “Just do it.” Living as a disciple of Jesus is really the same way. It’s good to have a Bible, so you have a ready reference for how to’s. And it’s also good to have a community that encourages you in your walk. But you don’t need a theology degree. You don’t have to become a monk. You just have give yourself to Jesus and follow the little nudges you encounter throughout the day.

It’s so easy when you are a runner to get discouraged, distracted, or waylaid by circumstances beyond your control. I’m very thankful for my sweet husband who asks me every night if I want to run the next morning. In some ways his simple question keeps me accountable. However, quite honestly most mornings I don’t want to get out of bed. My body often feels heavy laden, and I just want a little more sleep. What I have found, though, is that if I will push through, the experience of running does in fact get easier. The difficulty lessons, and the benefits begin showing up. For instance, I seem to have more energy throughout the day. My clothes start fitting better. I can eat what I want! And eventually, my body wants to get up and run, desiring the activity rather than fighting it. So just push through!

The same is true for the life of faith. Reading the Bible and attending a faith-based group regularly is so hard. Especially as a college student when there are so many other things that you could be doing, so many other things that seem to be more fun and fulfilling. But pressing through is definitely worth it. Eventually the effort pays off. Don’t try to be perfect; don’t try to always get it right; don’t try to always sound super spiritual. Instead, just keep doing what you know to do, regardless of how well you think you are doing. Let Jesus take care of the rest. Remember how the book of Galatians talks about the “fruit of the Spirit?” As you allow God’s Spirit room in your life to grow, to be nurtured and cultivated, an amazing thing actually happens: The fruit of that cultivation begins to show! It’s not that we spend our time trying to force love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to show up in us. Whenever we do that the results seem strained and fake. But when we make room in our lives for spending time with God, reading His word, and hanging out with His people, those fruits just automatically begin to show up. God brings them forth from us—we just provide hospitable dirt for them to grow in. Eventually doing the God thing first isn’t hard anymore, and everything else gets more manageable too. Because it’s no longer our strength making it happen, but His strength coming through us. So just push through!

Truly the secret to finishing in a life of running and a life of faith is not very complicated. Paul puts it this way: “Let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2). The secret to finishing the race set before us is a little word called “perseverance.” Last Saturday there were lots of people in that race, including teenagers who started ahead of me, but then finished behind me. It’s not that I’m a great runner; I’m not. It’s not that I’m a fast runner; I’m not. Even though most of them were faster than me, they stopped running; however, with my turtle pace I kept going. It’s just a simple strategy that carried me through: don’t stop running. I could run as slow as I wanted, I could strip off extra clothes if I wanted, I could breathe as heavy as I wanted, I just couldn’t stop. It wasn’t pretty; but I finished. And finishing is all that matters.

So I want to encourage you this semester: Do the God thing first, and persevere in doing it. You will have all kinds of reasons not too. You will face all kinds of distractions and discouragement. Do don’t give up and don’t give in. Even if you fall away for a little while, come back. You will be so glad you did. Make up your mind now to win the race that Jesus has set before you. The more you run with Jesus, the easier it will be. So don’t give up; just push through!

This is me trusting,

Sami