Uncrushable Hope

Earlier in the semester my oldest son Noah and I had a little butting of the heads. He had been invited to a birthday party by one of his friends who wanted everyone to wear their favorite basketball jersey. Noah wanted to wear his upward uniform. Because his upward game was going to be that following Saturday morning, I told him he could wear the jersey, but the t-shirt and shorts he would have to save. Noah was crushed. He was so upset because the jersey was incomplete without the right shorts or shirt under it. He worked himself into such a fit I could barely talk to him. Finally I went to his bedroom and began pulling out other shorts he could wear under it. After a while, Noah began to realize that the clothes I was choosing for him worked just as well as what he wanted, and he would still be able to wear a fresh uniform the following day. He found an outfit he could be happy with and quickly regained his composure. After a little while had passed I knelt down to talk to him. As I pulled him close he began to go through an apology, because he thought he was getting scolded. Instead I said, “You don’t have to apologize. I just want you to know that you can trust me, that I love you, and that I am working things out for you in a way that will be good for you.”

Even as I was saying those words I knew they were Holy Spirit inspired God words. I believe these are the words that God speaks to every person He loves. Yep that would be everyone. Sometimes it is so hard in the middle of disappointment and heartache to hear them, just like it was hard for Noah to see that my plan for him was good, even if it looked different from his.

So many times I hear the stories of disappointment and despair from people who are heartbroken because life hasn’t turned out the way they wanted it to. My heart aches for them. I know deeply the pain of loss; I remember well the sting of my own dashed hopes. When I hear these life stories coming out of a place of complete brokenness and inabilitiy to comprehend, I feel the resonating anguish. The deep places within me recognize it and rush forth to meet the grief with empathy and compassion. But the deep places in me recognize something else that the person in pain is not quite ready to see. It is the promise of God’s love that meets the person where they are, gives them a new understanding of His love for them, and then blesses them with a new vision for themselves that is born out of His uncrushable hope. Ephesians 3:14-21 expresses it best:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom ever family in heaven and on earth takes its name. I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generation, forever and ever. Amen.

The one thing I have learned about God more than any other is that He is really into redemption. What that means is that He chooses the broken and desperate (even dead) places of our lives to be the birthplaces for His new life revealed in us. It is the message of the cross that He reinvents over and over again through our ordinary lives. He loves to see His resurrection power displayed in the exact spot of our hopeless despair and grim resignation. Often times we are too hurt to see past our own pain to understand the beautiful new thing He is bringing forth. That’s okay. He gets that about us. I believe it is why He gives us to one another. While you are in your grief and can’t see out of it, I can hold your hand and see God’s grace and mercy for you. When my head and heart are weighed down with burdens I can’t carry, you believe in God’s goodness and strength for me.

The gift of disappointment is that it helps us come to know our true identity. We are hurt and disappointed often because something or someone is removed from our lives that we didn’t think we could live without. We believe that without that something or someone we cannot be complete and worthwhile people. Yet when life removes something we believe gives us our value, we have the opportunity to learn that our value comes from Him, from being His child. We have worth because He made us, He loves us, and He is working out His purposes in our lives. When the crutch of that something or someone is gone, we learn to stand in God’s truth of us rather than remaining dependent upon an outside source to know our worth.

And let me just say, once we can stand tall in His love and value of us, He is ready to accomplish abundantly far more in and through our lives than all we can ask and imagine. The hope of resurrection ceases to be an abstract and distant historical happening and becomes to us the very power by which we live our lives. People see and take notice because God is released to do what on He can do: show off His glory!

What does this mean? It means that your heartache is not the end of the story. It means that there will be a day when you can look with joy upon your life, when your disappointment and grief are but a faint shadow. It means that there is coming a moment when you will know your labor and your tears have not been in vain. There will be a day when you will see with your own eyes His power accomplishing in your life far more than you ever thought to ask for or even imagine. You can trust Him to bring goodness to you. You can trust Him to redeem, make right, turn around, make beautiful every disappointment and despair that you offer into His hands.

I share these things as an encouragement, especially during this season of Lent. While you may be in a season of looking toward the cross, the one that Jesus died on as well as the cross of disappointment and heartache in your own life, remember that the end of the story has nothing to do with death and everything to do with resurrection. Jesus didn’t just tell His disciples beforehand that He would be delivered into the hands of His enemies and killed, but He also said that on the third day He would rise again. I am as confident that this as is true for Jesus showing up in your life story as it is for the one He lived here on earth. You are His. He loves you. He delights in You. And He is waiting for that day when He can resurrect the broken places of your life and show forth His power and glory through you to all the earth. Hear His sweet words spoken to your waiting heart: “I just want you to know that you can trust Me, that I love you, and that I am working things out for you in a way that will be good for you.”

This is me trusting,

Sami

First Love

First love. The phrase brings back all kinds of memories (not all of them pleasant) of my first foray into serious romantic endeavors. I look back at the 16 year old girl that I was, so thankful that I’m not her now. Quite honestly I had no concept of what kind of love God desired for my life. That lack of understanding cost bought me a heap of wisdom that I’m so thankful for today. Since then I’ve learned so much more about love and loving. As I compare the love I felt as an awkward teenager to the love I share now with my sweet husband, I can’t help but have a heart overflowing with gratitude and thanksgiving. God has brought me so far; He has healed so many things; He has restored so much that I thought could never be restored. I can honestly say that my sweet husband is the love of my life. But God is my First Love. And that has made all the difference. It is His Love that makes every other love possible; it is His Love that makes every other love sweet. Although my precious husband is the only one who rings my bell, God is my First Love.

What we love first makes all the difference. We cannot love anyone or anything before God without costing ourselves a world of heartache. Quite simply, nothing and no one but Him can hold the fullness of our hearts without dropping something. Only God is worthy to be our First Love, because only God’s hands are big enough to entrust all that we are to them. Only God is powerful enough to redeem, restore, and recreate all of the wounds of our past. Only God can bring back to life that which has been rendered dead within us.

This message is so simple yet so profound. Love God first. Let God truly be your First Love. In Mark 12:29 Jesus shares the greatest commandment: “Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the lore your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” This is the most important thing. When we get this right, everything else finds its proper place in our lives.

I just finished having lunch with a young woman who is so dear to me. She has experienced heartbreaking loss, and yet she refuses to let anything separate her from God’s love. When I am with her I feel the light of Christ just all around. When others who experience devastating heartache withdraw, shut down, and shut God out, she has tenaciously held on to her faith, desiring to be His even when each day for her holds the hurt of deep grief. She courageously reaches through the pain of her grief to grasp the hand of God. I praise Him for her. By doing the only thing she knows to do to get through her grief she is showing others the way out of despair and into the arms of a loving, all encompassing God. I’m so grateful for her witness, and so touched.

We are in the season of Lent, that liturgical time of year when we turn our faces toward the cross and walk with Jesus toward the crucifixion and His resurrection. During the forty days leading up to the remembrance of Christ’s death on the cross, Christians for centuries has reserved this time for the practice of spiritual disciplines which help to leave earthly desires behind and prepare the heart to receive God’s presence in a fuller way. When I was a 16 year old love struck teenager who didn’t understand the true dimensions of love, I would give up drinking Dr. Pepper during Lent. But love means so much more now. God has shown me with gentle clarity the depths of His Love for me, the precious gift of His eternal salvation opened for me on the cross, the sweetness of His daily presence to lead and to guide. Lent this year has become more of a Love Song, with my clumsy yet deliberate notes echoing His Love Notes in my life. I want my Lenten sacrifice to open up space in me to love Him more. I want to meet Him in Love, and enlarge my own capacity to live in the Love He greets me with each day.

If you are like one young man who used to be a student of mine, giving up Dr. Pepper would do that for you. Bless his heart, he would rather have had a Dr. Pepper infusion than a blood infusion! Because it was so much a part of him, to give it up would have really been difficult. And the point is in the difficulty to turn our hearts to Jesus, to ask God to come into the empty space left by unfulfilled desire and fill us up, to seek to love and desire God as much as that thing we want that we can’t have.

I believe this season of reverence, spiritual discipline, and self-denial is essentially an invitation. When Jesus emptied Himself and came to us (Phillipians 2:5-8), ultimately giving His life for us on the cross, the Bible tells us that He endured it for the joy set before Him (Hebrews 12:2). His joy was to open up eternal and abundant life to us, to redeem our lives from the pit, to put His Holy Spirit within us so that we could taste and see the goodness of God. When He invites us to take up our crosses and follow Him, He is inviting us to a journey that will ultimately lead to our heart’s desire. The pain of self-denial is really just the path to our deepest joys fulfilled.

So join me this Lenten season in walking a path of Love. Listen for God’s word to your heart for the spiritual discipline that will lead you closer to Him. Perhaps it is the soft drink deletion that will make the difference for you. Maybe it is to fast from complaining. Maybe He simply wants you to stop putting yourself or others down, to replace negative words with positive ones. Maybe He wants you to read your Bible daily, or even read through the Gospels. Whatever it is, say yes. And let the Love of the Lord lead you to fall more deeply in love with Him.

This is me trusting,

Sami

After the "Uh-Oh"!

Tim and I are in a parenting class at church that gives advice on how to handle discipline issues with children in a way that maintains the dignity of both the child and parent. A few weeks ago the book we are reading introduced the “Uh-Oh” song, to be sung merrily after a child has entered into discipline territory and needs to have some redirection. I haven’t quite caught on to the practice yet. But I have been pondering “Uh-Oh” moments that we somehow slip into that are very real and very much in need of redirection.

I’m not talking about childhood misadventures in mischievousness. I’m talking about those moments when we realize that our lives have ventured down a path that we never intended, and we have arrived in a place that is ugly, desperate, and hopeless. Perhaps it is the moment you realize the unplanned pregnancy is real. Or the moment that you know a whole semester has bombed. Or the moment when you sense that this partying thing is no longer a party. Or the moment you understand why the car is totaled and the insurance isn’t paying. Or the moment when you comprehend the fact that you will no longer be let off with “just a warning.” Whatever it is, it’s the moment when you say to yourself, “Wow, I screwed up.”

There are two key components to this experience. Both involve radical self-awareness. I’m not talking about those times when someone else looks into your life and tells you, “Man, you really blew it!” They may or may not be right. And often, even if they are right, we are so defensive their message never penetrates. Instead, this is a moment of clarity, when the fog clears and we come to our senses. When we have the grace to understand that our lives are in desperate need of help and we cannot generate that help on our own. I am talking about that specific experience of knowing the unvarnished truth of where we are in life and also owning the part we played in getting there. Knowing and owning. It’s really the moment when we can look at ourselves in the mirror and say, “I get it now.”

Often in that moment of realization we feel such a keen sense of shame, regret, and hopelessness. We despair of ever getting back to that place of innocent trust, that place of before. Yet imbedded in the heartache of painful realization there is hope. And this moment can, if we allow it, lead us to a place that is better than before because it will grounded in a deep knowing of what we are capable of and an understanding of how our choices always bear fruit. This moment of despairing in ourselves can lead us to a place where we learn to lean wholly on God’s grace and less upon our own self-sufficiency. It really can be good.

So how does God see our moment of moral failure? It’s odd. I grew up with a keen sense of fearing God’s judgement. I could not admit to myself mistakes because I was so afraid of facing God’s rejection. But what I have learned is that it never surprises God when we fail. He is not waiting at the door of our relationship with Him, waiting to pounce on us with “I told you so’s” and “you should have known better’s.” He is waiting for just that moment of knowing and owning, that moment when it ceases to surprise us that we fail. Because that is the moment when we can most acknowledge our need of Him and we are most open to receiving it. It is that moment when we are so fully convinced of our own way’s folly that we are willing to try a new way, a different way. We are willing to do things His way because we know that our way leads to no way. And that is just the moment when His grace rushes in, cleans us up, and sets us on a new path.

It may surprise you that even after royally screwing up we can still be considered righteous. This is because we rarely understand the nature of true righteousness. True righteousness (or lack thereof) has less to do with what we do and everything to do with Who (or who) we trust. When we trust God we receive His righteousness. When we trust Him (believe Him) to forgive us, to cover our sin, to accept us back into His care, to lead us to a good place, that is when we have the beginnings of righteousness. And when we trust Him enough to actually begin to follow Him where He leads, that is when His righteousness takes root in our lives and begins to flourish. That is when His righteousness becomes something others can see. Not because we are trusting in our own good deeds (which is no righteousness at all), but because they can see we love Him, and are looking at Him, and are following after Him. Here is what scripture has to say about it: “Now to one who works, wages are not reckoned as a gift but as something due. But to one who without works trusts him who justifies the ungodly, such faith is reckoned as righteousness” (Romans 4:4-5).

So what do we do now? Just this: believe that God loves you and wants to help you. He gets that you blew it. And mercy of mercies, you do too. He isn’t going to dwell on that. He wants to move you to a better place. So let Him. Seek Him. Follow after Him. Let the grief you feel over your past mistakes be the place that you seek to fill with coming to know and understand His plan for your life that is radically different from your own. In Revelation the apostle John offers this excellent wisdom to the church at Ephesus about getting back to that sweet spot of communion with the Lord: “Remember then from what you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first” (Revelation 2:5). Quite literally he is simply saying turn yourself away from where you were going and turn toward the Lord and His path for you.

I want to close by sharing words of scripture for you. I invite you to write them down in your own handwriting, tape it to your wall or door. Put these words in a place where you will see them often and where you can ponder what they mean for you in your life. Listen to what God’s Spirit is saying to you:

Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Happy are those to whom the Lord imputes no iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deceit.

While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as the heat of summer. Selah

Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah

Therefore let al who are faithful offer prayer to you; at the time of distress, the rush of mighty waters shall not reach them. You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with glad cries of deliverance. Selah

I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Do not be like a horse or a mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and bridle, else it will not stay near you.

Many are the torments of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds those who trust in the Lord. Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart. (Psalm 32)

So dear ones, know that the Lord loves you. His mercy and goodness are so for you. Everyday He stands waiting and ready to pick you up, dust you off, and put you back on the right path again. But it is impossible to experience that blessedness without first knowing and owning. So my prayer for each of us is that we would have the courage to know and own what we need to, so that we can receive what we need from Him.

This is me trusting,

Sami

The Shape of Things

It’s been a long few months. This season of Winter has seemed to seep deeply into everything. It’s like the cold, the snow, the aggravation of inconvenience caused by closings and bad roads have all conspired to slow us down, send us inside, give us ample opportunity for reflection. Everything stops and the dust settles. And we are able to see in the quiet discomfiture exactly how things really are.

I will never forget the day early in my ministry when I was sharing my heart with a pastor friend, just pleading that after so much struggle in my life I just wanted to be happy. He replied that God doesn’t want us to be happy but rather holy. I must say I did not feel the warm fuzzy consolation that so often accompanies the spiritual gifts of compassion and encouragement. Instead I felt deflated and misunderstood. However, his words have stayed with me. And often I also recall the wisdom shared by someone else that often people who feel holy are really just happy. The point is that once a person’s happiness is removed holiness (or lack thereof) is quickly revealed. Winter also I believe is a revealer of these kinds of things. Because we can’t quite get comfortable, the stuff of our character has ample opportunity to show up. Winter reveals the shape of things.

I love this especially as it relates to trees. Early in my life I bemoaned Winter as a desolate and ugly time of year. I was all for foliage, beautiful buds announcing the newness of Spring and the lush, rich depth of Summer leaves shading the heat, singing in the breeze. Even Autumn held a special gift of igniting the landscape with fire. Each of these seasons spun beauty in my eyes. But I believed Winter held no beauty, simply because the trees became so bare, naked and empty of visible life. I only believed the obvious could be beautiful. But in my later years, God has been showing me the deep promise and extraordinary gift of Winter time, especially as it relates to trees.

Trees need Winter after all. The most important growth happens then. This is the season when the roots grow deep, penetrating earth to reach the water and nutrients needed to bring growth and new life. It is also the only time of year that we get a glimpse of the bones of the trees we admire all year long. We see their strength in the thickness of the trunks, the reach of the spindly branches and twigs stretching to heaven, the tenaciousness of new growth that resumes even when branches have been cut off, the provision of hospitality to birds who build their nests and raise their young nestled snuggly in their arms. How sweetly Winter reveals the shape of things.

In our lives with God, we too pass through seasons. How we long for the excitement of Spring, the lush provision of Summer, the glory and bounty of Autumn harvest. Yet it is in Winter time that we send our roots deep into God’s presence, and when everything else falls away, our hopes and dreams, comfort and status. It is here that God shows us where we really are and what we are really made of. I treasure this time for its quiet gifts. And because I am an encourager, I don’t see it as a bad thing. Instead I see it as God’s grace, revealing qualities to us that we never knew we had. He takes the time to show us to ourselves, and the vision is really quite beautiful. We get to see our strength, sustaining ourselves and those in our care from years of trials and trusting Him. We get to see how hungry we are for His grace and glory as we reach towards heaven. We get to see how God’s mercy has allowed new life in those places where circumstances caused an amputation that we thought we could never recover from. We even see the ways that God has entrusted others into our care and how they are safely perched within our love, caring and tending to the life God has given them. How sweetly even our spiritual Winter reveals the shape of things to us and for us.

My dear friends, do not be discouraged. You are a God-song resounding with beauty that only He can give. But sometimes we confuse the world’s song with our own God-song welling up from within. And for this reason God allows the Winter seasons of the soul to draw us deeply into Him and to show us exactly how beautiful we really are. The world cannot sing in Winter; it’s why everything seems to come to a halt and the outer trappings of life come to a standstill. But our beauty has nothing to do with outer things; it has everything to do with that God beauty within. The same beauty we forget and hide in the regular ordinariness of our lives because the world does not understand it and often does not value it. This beauty is the very thing that makes you Holy, and it is the Holiness about you that is revealed when happiness falls away and you realize you are, and cannot be anything but, His.

So here I am with you dear one, in Winter time. Like you I am stretching my hands up and high, reaching for all I’m worth toward heaven. And like you I’m digging deeper, trying to get to that deep, hidden well of God’s living water that will spring forth and quench my thirst. And like you I’m walking by faith, knowing that this life is beautiful, because ultimately this life belongs to Him.

This is me trusting Him,

Sami

Singing Rocks

The headline reads “Opera Company of Philadelphia Rallies Over 650 Singers To Surprise Macy’s Shoppers With A Random Act of Culture.” (See www.operaphila.org/RAC) Apparently it is a regular occurrence to hear an organ play classical music at the Macy’s in Philadelphia. In the middle on one such regular occurrence the organ launched into the opening score of Handel’s Messiah and suddenly hundreds of voices burst into song with a loud “Hallelujah.” Each singer had gathered within Macy’s pretending to get a head start on their Holiday purchases. But soon they became heralds of good tidings to unsuspecting bystanders.

As I watched the video I wept. For all their randomness they had not chosen a random song at all. The lyrics to the Hallelujah Chorus are the most sublime and glorious words of praise that can be uttered. There’s no holding back and no room to mistake exactly Who is being lifted up:

“Hallelujah: for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. The kingdom of this world has become the kingdom of our Lord, and of His Christ; and He shall reign forever and ever. King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. Hallelujah!”

It reminded me of the scene when Jesus makes His triumphal entry into Jerusalem: “The whole multitude of the disciples began to praise God joyfully with a loud voice for all the deeds of power that they had seen, saying, ‘Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven, and glory in the highest heaven!’ Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, ‘Teacher, order your disciples to stop.’ He answered, ‘I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out’” (Luke 19:37-40). As I watched the joyful singers interspersed throughout the crowd of shoppers I felt like rocks were singing.

I am so encouraged by the imaginative delight of our Lord who finds creative outlets to display His glory. I can see Jesus elbowing Peter and with a grin saying, “Watch this; I’m about to bless Macy’s socks off!” So what if it is called a “random display of culture.” Hundreds of voices joined in a heavenly chorus while standing smack dab in the middle of a shopping mall, the real estate most dedicated to American greed and idolatry in our culture. Most moving to me was the woman who had her hands raised and face uplifted as she sang along. People were lifting babies over their heads, smiling and hugging one another, and of course pulling out pocket camcorders to take the holy moment home. It was incredibly beautiful. As the song came to a close the whole place erupted into glorious applause. I stood there in my kitchen watching in wonder, tears streaming down my face, my sweet baby in my arms. And as we watched the clapping my sweet baby began to clap along.

I have reflected much over this eruption of God’s glory in the middle of the ordinary. I have come to the conclusion that God has His own mysterious ways of displaying His glory and righteousness to our world. Because it is mystery, we cannot command it. We can only live as receptive vessels, willing to be filled with it and poured out for it.

As I close I want to share the most brilliant outpouring of God’s glory I have ever seen, the most riveting demonstration of human willingness I have ever witnessed. A precious couple I know has experienced an unimaginable loss recently. My heart has been broken for them, I weep for them often, I send up prayers for them daily. The thing is, in the midst of something so unspeakably awful, I see Jesus. Because they are reflecting Him. They continue to love Him, serve Him, and seek through their tragedy to bring a message of His love and hope to those around them. And not because they see themselves as strong, but because they see themselves as His. I am so humbled by their honest and raw desire to simply be His, even when the world as they once knew it has fallen apart. Every time I see them I come away loving Him more.

That is what revealing God’s glory is all about. When we witness it, we come away loving Him more. And finally I have found the thing I have been trying to say all along. The most important thing we will ever do with our lives is inspire someone else to want to know Him and love Him. By grace made perfect in our weakness. By random acts of culture. By unguarded and unreserved willingness to be His.

This is me trusting,

Sami

If I had a hammer

I think it would be kind of cool to randomly categorize the desk contents of campus ministers and compare them to the stuff in other folks’ desks. In my desk I have a small chocolate stash, some giant pixy stix, and a hammer, among other things. The chocolate is there to remind me that good does exist in the world and sometimes comes in small packages; the pixy stix are there for the ruthless pleasure of threatening my students with an unbridled Sami sugar high; and the hammer is there, well, because it has a soft place in my heart. Oh, and because occasionally I need to bang out a new hole in my office wall.

I love my hammer. It reminds me of Joe who raised me. He gave it to me in a simple olive green tool box with some other odds and ends tools when I moved away to college. It is a tangible reminder of the truth that some things worth accomplishing in life have to be hammered away at with great diligence and patience. This is what Joe taught me by his example, and through sharing his deeply spiritual wisdom. Consider my favorite Joe saying: “Spit in one hand and wish in the other; see which one fills up the fastest.” Love it! I remember having a pleading bout with him when I was about 10 years old. We had visited family and one of my cousins had moon wallpaper. I thought it was the coolest thing in the world. Standing in the middle of that room it was easy to feel like Lance Armstrong and Buzz Aldridge admiring the lunar horizon for the first time. I told Joe I wanted a “neat” room like that. He simply said when I could keep my room neat I could have a neat room. I totally thought he had misunderstood what I was saying, so I repeated my longing. Again he gave me the same reply. We continued until I gave up in frustration. What I was missing was the understanding that sometimes the only way to get what you want is to do the work you don’t want. Sometimes the road to satisfaction is paved only by the sweat of the brow.

Although I didn’t appreciate it at the time, I’m so thankful for Joe’s down to earth insight. In the years since it has served me well. Hard work and perseverance pay off. Yet in our society this notion is counter-intuitive. Our culture is so driven by instant gratification that often, when we cannot immediately fulfill our desires, we give up and look for new pursuits of pleasure. It takes great restraint and self-determination to live into a life-choice of commitment. And I purposefully say life-choice. We never accidentally persevere. It takes a great exercise of will to simply keep showing up and giving one’s best effort in a persistent direction when pleasure is deferred. Yet what treasures are garnered for those who choose this road less traveled.

I believe this is what Jesus was talking about when He said, “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14). Let’s face it: People are lazy. Just sayin’. If we can go through life by avoiding discomfort, we usually do. We generally want to feel good all the time, and only do the things that we like doing. Yet this path ultimately leads to all kinds of disappointment. Our destinations can only be as great as the journey we invest in. Even more disturbing, unrestrained gluttony can lead to addiction, destruction, and pain that we never intended and never once desired. However, perseverance leads to some really great stuff!

This is because I truly believe that God honors our perseverance in doing the right thing, in doing the hard thing when all be want to do is give up. When we are willing to give Him our best by not quitting, I believe He gives us His best by doing what only He can do: blessing and multiplying our efforts. Is it hard? Yes. Will you want to give up? Absolutely. But is it worth it to hang in there? You bet! We are so familiar with Jeremiah 29:11 that says, “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” Yet listen to the tender promises He gives to those who will pursue His best even when it demands something from them: “Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes” (Jeremiah 29:12-14).

When I was in youth group we had some old hippie youth leaders that would often sing this song: “If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning; I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land. I’d hammer out danger; I’d hammer out a warning. I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters, all over this land.” I think of it fondly now as I look at my worn hammer, laying in my campus ministry desk, remembering all the ways that Joe persistently and consistently taught me how to be a person of character, remembering too all the ways we have been hammering out God’s love together on campus. This is what I am doing with my hammer, my work of perseverance, trusting that the One who entrusted me with a tool for building has wonderful plans for His project’s completion. If you had a hammer, what would you build? Can you trust Him to have wonderful building plans for your life too?

This is me trusting,

Sami

Be a Joshua Generation!

On Monday we decorated my mommy van with some random pumpkins and headed out to South Lawn to share some chocolate joy. This is so my favorite thing to do this time of year. I love giving away candy to students, especially candy with a message so many need to hear. Each piece of chocolate is given away with this scripture stuck on top: “Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). This admonition to be strong and courageous is given three times in this chapter. Kind of seems like it is important.

The context of the story is that Moses has died. And God has chosen Joshua to be the one who will lead the Israelites into the promised land. This honor did not go to Moses, the one who spoke to God face to face as a friend. It went to the young guy. The apprentice. The one with no job experience. He is probably scared witless. And so the command from God Himself comes, “Be strong and courageous!” Notice it is not a request. Notice it is not a feel-good, warm fuzzy pick me. It is an admonition that shakes the earth: “Hey! You there looking around as if I’m talking to somebody else! You, be strong and courageous!” I love it!

Once again God chooses the least likely candidate to reveal His glory. I believe that young people today are the Joshua generation. I have never seen a population so intent on living the difference they most want to see made. It excites me; it humbles me. One of our students donated from their own funds to help us give away fair trade chocolate on Monday because this person very much believes in not just speaking about justice, but being a part of God’s justice. I am so proud, so thankful I get to be pastor to this individual.

I believe that the bigness of the command comes for two reasons. First, I believe it is so easy for young people to doubt their own worth, or their place in God’s plans. Let’s face it; our culture has told people to do what they want without regard for others. Often times it is the children who suffer. And as these children become young adults, they grow up with a belief that they are expendable, that their lives don’t really matter. The other reason is that never before has there been as much pressure to perform as now. Often students feel like the rest of their lives hinges on how well they perform now. They believe they don’t have time for the luxury of being still and quiet, learning to sense God’s presence with them in the noise, living as if the most important thing they can do with their time is pray and draw close to Jesus. In short, this generation has a target on its forehead.

I say that because our enemy knows what is at stake. And so does God. It is a generation that will give themselves with abandon to what they believe in. And so the spiritual battle is on to win the heart of a generation that loves, serves, and lives with everything they got. Let me just say this. God knows you have it in you to overcome every obstacle you will ever encounter. He know that with the Holy Spirit within you, you will be more than a conqueror. It thrills me to think of the promises that are just waiting to be realized because you, my Joshua generation, have decided to be strong and courageous. When you decide that going with God’s presence is the best way to change the world, the whole earth quakes. My dear ones, lets be partners with God in shaking things up a bit, shall we? So be strong and courageous; know that GOD IS WITH YOU. And wherever you go with God, the earth trembles.

This is me trusting,

Sami

This Little Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let It SHINE!

Two days before my second son was born I was blessed to hear Maya Angelou speak. Her visit to Bowling Green was brief and the opportunity to be a part of her public appearance was very limited. My dear friend who worked for student activities at the time arranged for several students from Wesley and myself to have tickets to her speaking engagement. The venue was a very packed Capital Arts theater. As we sat there among the other 300 something attendees, we were moved by her simple message, so eloquently delivered: “Let your light shine.” Simple but powerful. Let your light shine.

That was almost four years ago. Today I am still a campus minister at the same campus ministry. Those young and impressionable students however have since found their way into the world. It’s so cool to see how they each are living that message out in their own way. Just this past weekend I saw one of them at the Unity Fair held at the Foundry on Saturday. He now has a full-time job working as a community organizer, everyday living his passion to see justice come to life for the under-resourced and disadvantaged in our culture. It was so cool just to see that.

I know how pervasive and entrenched discouragement can be. So many times it seems like we cannot change anything, so we don’t try or we give up because we don’t see the results we want. The biggest temptation that most of us face each day is not about blatant sinning, but more in the area of directing our focus. We are tempted everyday to focus on how big the problems are, whether they are in our personal lives, our families, communities, or even the world. Our focus then magnifies the difficulty until it seems impossible, hopeless, and overwhelming. The tactic here is to keep our vision sequestered by an illusion of futility. That way the enemy doesn’t have to ever worry about whether we will ever step out for God because we have been cut down in our belief that we are even capable of making a difference at all. I believe this is the spiritual battleground where God’s initiatives are often shot down. We believe that those big problems can only be conquered through big power! And we simply feel like we don’t measure up. What’s more, because we believe we are incapable of making a difference, we make our minds up that solutions cannot exist. Sadly, God’s answers to these problems often are never discovered simply because they never even had the opportunity to even be considered!

But consider this. Often the way God works to change things is through the simple and small act of obedience, lived out faithfully over time. The song “This Little Light of Mine” is about a “little” light. Not a flood lamp. Not even a flash light. Simply a candle. Something simple and small which cuts the darkness just by being what it was meant to be. It makes a difference by lighting its wick. Giving a speech on Human Rights Day, December 10th, 1961, Peter Beneson said, “It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.” He had been living his life as a lawyer in Great Britain when he learned of two Portuguese students who were imprisoned for simply raising their wine glasses in a toast to freedom. Beneson was moved deeply and began a campaign to gain their freedom. It is through his efforts that Amnesty International was born, a movement dedicated to preserving human rights. It’s also like the story of the man who was discovered by a young boy on the beach throwing starfish back into the ocean. The boy commented that this gentleman couldn’t possible make a difference on a beach littered with hundreds of starfish. But very deliberately the old man continued. As he picked up the next starfish and threw it back into the sea, he simply said, “Made a difference for that one!”

What is your simple, small act of obedience? I used to think that God wanted me to change the world by finding the most dynamic examples of ministry out there and becoming like them. Now I know that God only expects me to be who He made me to be, and to apply that being towards those things that move me deeply. I’m not a British lawyer, but I am a prayer warrior. I’m not a charismatic leader, but I am a funny, down to earth teacher. I’m not an administrative genius, but I am a walking heart beat that welcomes everyone in. I am quirky, weird, a bit disheveled, kind of outrageous, very un-hip, quite excitable, and somewhat enthusiastic. In all of that messy vibrancy I have experienced a quiet invitation from God’s heart to leverage what I am (NOT what I’m not) towards those things that stir me deeply. He asks me to consider what I can do, NOT what can’t be done. And here is the best part of all: When we stop focusing on what is impossible for us to (God’s part anyway), and begin to live into that simple, small act of obedience that we can do, then we have allowed room for the Bigness of God to step in and do His thing after all! Kind of like the little boy who steps up to share his sack lunch; Jesus turns it into a feast that feeds a crowd.

So STOP fixating on what cannot be done. Begin to listen for that still, small Voice (God’s Voice) that speaks within your heart. Learn to focus on the light already shining around you. Learn from those who seem to know how to live in light. Consider the light that you are, not the one you wish you could be. And in the listening and considering begin to focus on the simple, small act of obedience that God is sparking within you. Light that candle. Let that light shine. And prepare to be amazed at how small the darkness becomes.

This is me trusting,

Sami

Why are you here?

I must admit that since I have been back from Fall Break, several of you have really been on my heart and mind. Each one of you truly has a special place in my life. It is so cool and kind of amazing that after 8 plus years in this ministry, the things you go through as students still move me deeply. I count it as a God thing. I believe it is why I am where I am. God crafted my heart so that college students could find His grace there. It is a mystery that staggers me and leaves me deeply humbled. After all this time, I know why I am here. He put me here to love on you.

But I want you to ponder a more important question, especially those of you who are really wrestling and struggling right now: Why are YOU here? Really, why? You may be so distracted by the whirlwinds surrounding you and swirling within you that you may not have ever even considered the question. But consider this: Lauren, one of our leaders at Wesley very astutely says that nobody comes here by accident. She is so right. I kind of feel that campus ministries are kind of like planets. The big ones seem to have a gravitational pull that draws others in. However when you land on our planet it is precisely because you were guided here by Something bigger than yourself for a very specific purpose. You are not here by chance. God is doing something in you here that has eternal significance for your life and quite probably for lives you have yet to encounter. Now that is staggering.

I say this because the temptation is to believe that you are only what the university says you are, a random 800 number amongst 20,000 other students. You are definitely not just a random number. Or you could be tempted to believe what biology would tell you, that you are a random conglomeration of rapidly expanding cells that differentiated into various limbs and organs. You are not a random grouping of cells. Or you could be tempted to believe what philosophy would tell you, that you are a random being with an existential presence vacillating between meaningless extremes and circumstances of which you have no control. Your life is not a random happening in a meaningless universe. Here is the truth: You are precious, created with intention and delight, for a purpose that extends meaning and influence far beyond what you can comprehend. You are a person of sacred worth. And right this very minute God is working a purpose for you that is full of eternal significance, one that is full of His glory and profound in its impact.

But you have a choice. How you decide to view your life and circumstances very profoundly influences your experience of them and your response to them. As Tyler, another one of our leaders at Wesley, rightly points out, it’s all about the attitude. You can choose to believe the lie, that you are here by chance and your live has no worth or value. Or you can be courageous and live into the truth that our enemy does not want you to believe: That you are a child of worth, created in and sustained in love, specifically for a purpose that has eternal significance and meaning. I don’t take the admonition lightly. I know what it will cost some of you to live into it, to live as if it is true because you can’t yet believe it is true. I know what I’m asking is huge, but I also know the One who prompted me to ask it. I know He believes in you and wants you to experience His power in your life like you never have before. Here is the truth: He will do the powerful transforming thing; you just have to accept His invitation. Be strong and courageous dear ones. I will accept that invitation with you.

This is me trusting,

Sami

What to do when the A.F.R. has hit the fan

Today is the Monday before Fall Break begins on Thursday. And as is the case on most college campuses before break, all the professors got together and decided that the most delicious form of torture for college students would be to coordinate syllabi so that all the exams, all the projects, all the papers, all of the big-ticket assignments would come due at the same time. And of course every professor or instructor treats his or her assignment as the most important, expecting you the student to do the same. Even if you are only enrolled in basket-weaving 101, that instructor’s attitude toward that class is that it is the most vital to your entire educational career, even if you should go on to pursue a PH. D. in aero-dynamics. It’s just the culture of academia.

Returning students have learned to greet the days before Fall Break with the grim resignation to hunker down, bury themselves in the library or dorm room, and grind through each intellectual obligation until all are completed. Freshmen are more like deer caught in headlights. For a few brief moments they hyperventilate, and then, after chatting with friends, parents, and pastors, discover that the devastation can be survived. Then they too, hunker down. If you are a college student reading this, you didn’t need me to tell you that the A.F.R. (I learned this term on TV last night when a resort worker was explaining what happens when a kid poops in the pool—it’s called “accidental fecal release.” Cool huh?) has hit the fan. You are living it.

And as I was pondering A. F. R. this morning during my run, I began to wonder as my breath formed a foggy mist in front of my face if toots (passing gas, farts, tooties, whatever) would also form a lovely foggy mist in the cold air. Can you tell I hang around college students? I share this for two reasons: First I think it is hilarious! Second, when we are going through tough times we need help to get through, to persevere, to survive. Humor has always done it for me. I often tell my students that in the body of Christ I am the funny bone. My bizarre thought process on how we survive the tough times is actually related to Philippians 4:11-13, a familiar scripture that I have been pondering for the last several days:

For I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

There is a Veggie-Tales video that explores this verse. Larry the cucumber asks Bob the tomato if it means that through Christ he can be a chicken, because he always wanted to be a chicken. Well, no. It doesn’t mean that. Usually we take it to mean that we can do anything for God through the strength of Jesus Christ. And yes, that is true. We can do anything God asks us to do relying on His strength. But we usually look at this text through the lens of the American Dream, meaning that if we don’t like the situation we are in, with God’s help and our own will-power we should be able to fix it. We kinda are the “fix-it” nation. We hate to be uncomfortable, and we avoid pain at all costs. However, this is not the way of the Gospel, certainly not the way of Jesus who did not run away from the cross but chose it because he loves us and knew there could be no resurrection, ultimate defeat of sin, death, and evil, without it.

At the heart of the Gospel is the good news that Jesus transforms the bad into the good. Not by running away, but by enduring, and pushing through. Somehow the power of Jesus infused into our lives gives us the ability to do the same, to persevere and push through. And through His grace, our worst experiences can be transformed through the power of His love and resurrection into something of eternal beauty. Don’t ask me how He does it; I just know that he does. And He does it not by removing us from the difficulty but by strengthening us within the difficulty. Now don’t get me wrong; I do believe in miracles and deliverance. But I also know that God doesn’t choose to answer every difficulty we encounter in this way. What He does give us every time is the strength to be okay in the midst of A.R.F.’s and quickly whirling objects (i.e. fans). The good news is that no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in, God is able to sustain us while we are in them. He helps us get through them. He makes us able to praise Him on the other side. So thankful. Honestly I’d rather have the American Dream, but I’m so thankful I have His grace instead. He’s gotten me through a lot.

And so my dear ones, do not be discouraged. In a matter of days Fall Break will be here, and you will be able to rest from your basket weaving 101 adventures. Just know that the God who loves you is with you, to strengthen you and to bring good out of you and through you. And in His grace you will see your toughest trial transformed into something of eternal beauty for His glory.

This is me trusting,

Sami