Thursday, June 30, 2011

Letting Go

So in just a little more than two and a half hours my last day of being employed at the Wesley Foundation will be over. It's hard to imagine that something that has been so much a part of me is coming to an end. At every significant milestone of extracting myself from this life of campus ministry I have felt the sadness of letting go. But after the release of a few tears, I'm fine. I guess the deeper truth that holds me is the message of Ecclesiastes: for everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. The season of being the spiritual mother hen of the Wesley Foundation is over. I am profoundly grateful for the opportunity, for the gifts that nine years of serving there have brought. During my time there I have witnessed two miracles of physical healing and numerous lives changed. I have always counted my time there as a privilege and an honor. And now it is okay to let it go.

This is how I will honor the memory of my time at Wesley: I will leave well. I will let it be everything it was, not trying to hold on to what is past, not trying to recreate what was good. I will let it be. I will not look back with wistful longing like Lot's wife, trying to recapture what I can never have. Instead, I will look forward. I think the true mistake that Lot's wife made was not trusting that what lay ahead of her could be better than what lay behind. As great as the last nine years have been, I don't want to make the same mistake.

Instead, I want hands that have fully released what was, hands emptied and waiting, eager to receive what will come. I trust that my God is good. I trust that His mercy is great. I trust that His timing is impeccable. I look forward with anticipation, meeting the mystery of what will be with joy. It's okay. While my God is far from tame, I know He is good. He is so good.

And so this is how I choose to greet the beginnings of a new day: with hope. No regrets. No fear. Just hope, joy, and a deep love for God who leads me into the goodness of morning. Indeed, morning by morning, new mercies I see.

This is me, full of trust,


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