Tuesday, April 17, 2012
This was the sunset we saw coming home. It took my breath away. In the car with three boys, Noah saying, "Mama you need to take a picture!" And that's what I did. I believe it was worth turning around for. How many things in life are like that?
Many, actually. But rarely do we take the time to see, much less turn around to get a better, clearer, closer look. The last couple of days have been like that for me. My family has drawn close to Ma as she gets closer to death. Tim's Grandmother is such a sweet, funny lady who welcomes everyone like they are family. And now she will soon be welcomed Home.
I sat by her bed tonight, watching her breathe, waiting with her for just a while. The moments seemed to slow, kind of like her breathing, and I thought of the nearness of new life, brimming and brewing as this life prepares to give itself over. "Oh we are so close!" I thought. So close to the Eternal. Here is this person I love, soft skin blanketing bones, waiting for the moment of eternity to come to her. Just being near her makes me feel close to that glorious, eternal life too.
Oh I long for it. Not my own death, mind you, but life that is touched by the Hand of God. I long to see God's Glory revealed. I long to be ushered into the Next Thing. I feel in my spirit that I am waiting, have been waiting, that the waiting is full, pregnant, ripe, ready to bust open, and yet I could not even begin to tell you what exactly I'm waiting for. I just know I'll recognize it when I see it. It's hard to tell if the waiting is devouring me or expanding me. Faith says it is growing me in ways I cannot imagine. My weak flesh says it is the foolishness of unsubstantiated hope. Today I'm going with the faith side of me. Ma is not the only one in transition.
I am thankful for those sweet moments with Ma, watching her breathe, touching my lips gently to her cheek, lifting my youngest son to brush his sweet lips against her cool skin too. It was a Holy time filled with beauty and God's goodness.
So on the way home we saw this amazing sunset. It was like God showing off for us, whispering gently, "Glory is closer than you think."