Saturday, August 25, 2012
The Hope in My Hands
Tomorrow I am helping in Kidzone. I am the host for children's Sunday morning worship time; my husband is the storyteller. The theme is contentment. The story is the two loaves and five fish. And oh how Jesus multiplied them!
Life is still not perfect. And there is this part of me that says I should be stressing more. Worried more. Scraping together more pennies. Counting. Scrounging. Scrapping.
But instead . . . .
I just feel peace. Peaceful. Content. It's like I'm holding my fish and bread in my hands. And I know there is not enough to go round. There is not enough me to go round. But I am so confident in the hands of my Savior. I know He can take what I got and make it enough.
There have been several times this summer He has done it, when the Provision just appeared. There is that still nagging part of me that whispers "what if?". And I tell it the Provision came when I wasn't looking for it. Won't it also come when I need it so much and my eyes are weary with searching for it so much?
Kind of like today.
I was putting away our packages from trips to the store, arranging provisions around the house. And my hand felt funny all of a sudden. I looked down and one of my rings was gone. How odd that one would be there on one hand, but the most important one, the wedding band, a sweet anniversary gift from my husband, with precious stones in a delicate setting, was gone. Panic. I could not find it. Not in my pocket. I did not take it off. Not on the floor. Not on the counter. Oh God how could it be gone?! And my Tim saying, "just breathe," and "when was the last time you remembered having it on?"
I knew it had just been on my hand. I had just washed my hands in the sink. I had just put away the few groceries. I had just put some plastic bags in the trash. My prayers were fast and furious. "Oh God please help me find this ring!" And Tim picks up the dish towel to dry his own hands and out it falls. We catch it before it goes down the drain.
I know that we are in a season of having to trust. But my Savior is so close. And even in the tumult of crazy days when my words come fast and furious in rounding up boys for the next part of our adventure together, I know He is nearby. Ever so Big and Able and Willing to help. And how can I worry? I believe this is a time of hope. I'm so thankful for the difficulty that demands all our trust because it means I have been delivered from another difficulty that was secure, but was sucking the life out of me. And here I am free, breathing easy, and filled with peace.
And holding my two loaves and five fish.